


Stuff Gets NSFW

by DangerousCommieSubversive



Series: Prompt Collections from Tumblr [7]
Category: Birds of Prey (Comic), DCU, Dark Avengers (Comic), Marvel, Princess Bride (1987), Secret Six, Teen Titans, X-Men - All Media Types, Young Avengers, Young Justice
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:16:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 6,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1704524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousCommieSubversive/pseuds/DangerousCommieSubversive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of notably NSFW prompts--meme included within</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tony Stark/Pepper Potts

**Author's Note:**

> These are all based on prompts from [this meme](http://dangerouscommiesubversive.tumblr.com/post/83524671711/semi-nsfw-meme-send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and), and they get _noticeably sexy._ ^_^
> 
> Text of the meme is as follows:
> 
> "Semi-NSFW meme — send me a pairing and a number and I’ll write you a ficlet about one
> 
> frommemetoyou:
> 
> 1… grinding up against the other  
> 2… moaning the other’s name  
> 3… stripping off  
> 4… sexting  
> 5… giving the other a strip tease  
> 6… giving a lap dance  
> 7… being drenched whilst wearing white  
> 8… leaping into the other’s arms  
> 9… confessing a fetish  
> 10… pinning the other against a wall  
> 11… trying to turn the other on  
> 12… successfully turning the other on  
> 13… turning the other off  
> 14… tying up the other  
> 15… spanking the other  
> 16… having some “private time” and the other accidentally walking in  
> 17… having a “friend” over and the other accidentally interrupting  
> 18… flashing the other  
> 19… having a wet dream and calling the other’s name during it  
> 20… bending over seductively to pick something up for the other  
> 21… leaving hickeys on the other’s neck  
> 22… trying to play footsie with the other during a meeting  
> 23… trying to go down on the other, under the table, during dinner"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meri47 asked:  
> Tony/Pepper, #22!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trying to play footsie with the other during a meeting

They’re on item three of the meeting agenda when Pepper first notices the tickling at her ankle. She ignores it, because updating the company sexual harassment policy is  _important_ —and Tony knows that too, that’s clearly why he started this  _now._  He’s just trying to get on her nerves.

Sometimes she regrets bugging him to pay more attention at company meetings. Other times she just regrets that he’s still a majority shareholder and  _comes_  to them. Sometimes the thought of staging a hostile takeover and buying out all his shares herself is  _very_  appealing.

Item five on the agenda is her latest opportunity to turn down a military contract. She’s considering stabbing the Navy liaison with a pen if he calls her “little lady” one more time when she feels Tony undoing the strap on one of her shoes. With his  _toes._

She always  _knew_  that stupid party trick was going to come back to bite her someday. She plants her foot firmly and doesn’t let him get the shoe off. When she darts a sidelong glance at him, he gives her an exaggerated pout. She rolls her eyes.

Then the Navy guy’s quiet companion stands up and starts talking about a  _different_  proposed contract, strictly non-combat rigs for sea rescue, and Tony perks  _right_  up. Turns out, this quiet guy’s not Navy, he’s an engineer from the Coast Guard, and Pepper is privately impressed with the bait-and-switch they’ve pulled, using the combat contract as a wedge to get their Coastie in to meet Tony.

Tony’s eyes have lit up, he’s started talking about  _detailed_  technical specs with the Coastie right at the board room table, and this is going to be a  _good_  contract for them, especially after Pepper goes over it to cut out anything that could allow Stark tech to be used for combat. Good for the public, good for their reputation, good for Tony…it’s exciting.

She does have a little bit of her own to get back, though. So she slips her foot out of her unbuckled shoe and slides her toes up the leg of Tony’s pants.

He stumbles mid-sentence and then starts to blush  _while_  desperately trying to focus on his science conversation.

Score one for her.


	2. Buttercup/Westley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meri47 asked:  
> Buttercup/Westley, #16!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> having some “private time” and the other accidentally walking in

The day is warm and breeze, the animals have been tended, everyone is sleepy after lunch, and the hayloft is a soft and quiet place for relaxation. Actually it’s good for a lot of things; Westley typically sleeps there, though he does have a small room in the house for when it blows foul.

At the moment, though, he’s not exactly  _sleeping._ It’s not as though he gets  _much_  time to himself, and he  _does_  have…needs. So he’s tucked into a soft corner, his breeches are unlaced, and he’s in the process of considering what the farmer’s beautiful daughter might look like in the bath when he hears a light step in the barn below.

He keeps his eyes shut and ignores it. It’s probably just one of the farm dogs.

In his mind, Buttercup turns to him and says, softly, “Farmboy.”

And then again, more irritably, “Farmboy! Where  _are_  you?”

His eyes pop open, and he hastily tugs up his breeches and looks down from the hayloft. “Ah…yes?”

She looks up at him, her glorious eyes flickering over his mussed hair and red face, and raises an eyebrow. “Saddle my horse. I wish to go riding.”

He swallows hard and nods. “As you wish.”


	3. Scott Summers/Logan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> billyrusso asked:  
> Scogan 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pinning the other against a wall

The team gets back from a mission, and everyone starts giving Scott and Logan space as  _soon_  as they’re out of the Blackbird, because the subsumed rage simmering through the cockpit’s been giving them  _all_  a headache. Jean just glances at them, sighs, and wanders upstairs murmuring about a headache; the others also start to walk away immediately.

But not quick enough to miss Scott roaring, “What the  _hell_  was that?”

And Logan’s growled reply, “Getting the  _job_  done. What’d it  _look_  like?”

"It looked to  _me_  like  _reckless endangerment_ of  _elementary-school children!_ " Scott pulls back the cowl of his costume, flushed with anger. "When I say hang back, you  _hang back!_ ”

"And if I’d done  _that,_  Slim, then there would’ve been—”

"There would have been a  _much_  wider margin of time for  _Kurt_  to get them  _out_  of the bus, which you would have  _known_  if you had been  _listening_ to me.” Scott glares down at Logan, who’s been advancing on him with the kind of half-menace that he frequently resorts to in arguments. “Do you have something to  _say_  for yourself?”

Logan snarls. “Junior, if you’re gonna say that I oughtta listen to—”

 _Thump_  as his back hits the wall, Scott’s hands on his collar, and Scott leans down and says, very quietly, “Would you like to look me in the  _eye_  and question my tactical ability?”

Logan huffs and then mutters, irritably, “Jean’d kill me if I messed up your pretty face.”

"No, she wouldn’t. And don’t call me pretty in public."

"We ain’t in public, not like anyone else here’s listening to us."

Upstairs, Jean rolls over and buries her face in her pillow, laughing.


	4. Thomas Blake/Bane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> billyrusso asked:  
> Catman/Bane 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leaping into the other’s arms

"Oh, good," Scandal yells as she runs out the door, arms over her head. "The house is on fire again."

"Does it burn down frequently now?" Knockout is close behind her, Liana cradled against her chest. "It never did this when I was here before."

"No, only the one other time, but it’s not like it was an experience I was eager to repeat. And it  _better_  not be Waller fucking around with us again.”

"Waller?"

"I’ll explain later, Kay."

The others are hurrying out of the house as well—Nanaue roaring up from the space in the basement where he has his big tub, Ragdoll tearing out of the kitchen door festooned in monkeys— _"I’m terribly sorry about this, it’s actually my fault, all shall be explained in time."_ —Jeannette naked but for a sheet with Floyd stumbling into his pants behind her.

Scandal whirls around. “Where’s Tom? Where’s _Bane?_ ”

And there is a massive  _thud_  as Bane jumps from the window of his second-floor bedroom and lands solidly on his feet on the ground. He doesn’t even wince. He just turns back to the burning building and looks up impassively at his open window.

At the window there’s a movement and—

Floyd blinks. “What’s he doing in  _your_  room?”

Bane quells him with a brief glance, just before Thomas crouches and  _leaps._

Bane catches him with a thump.

Thomas shakes his head, startled—apparently he wasn’t expecting to be  _caught_ —and then looks up at Bane and says, drily, “My hero.”


	5. Daken/Bullseye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> manicr asked:  
> Daken/Bullseye #6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> giving a lap dance

Daken’s curling his lip and saying, as the others walk in and array themselves throughout the living room, “Don’t bet against me, Karla. You always get upset when I win.”

Mac flicks out his tongue, interested. “What’re we arguing about?”

"Something stupid, Mac." Daken’s watching Karla with hooded eyes now. "You wouldn’t be interested."

"Come  _oooooon,_  tell me.”

Karla sighs and rubs at her temples. “Lap dances. We’re arguing about lap dances. He started it. Now we have to find volunteers to demonstrate on.”

The others all look Karla up and down and raise their hands. Except Bob, that is, who’s staring abstractedly out the window. Lester lets out a dirty laugh at Karla’s irritated look.

 _"But,"_  Daken says, “we’re picking for each  _other._ So, Karla, you get to dance for…hm…Ares.”

Neither Karla nor Ares looks displeased about that.

Karla shoots Daken a sidelong glance, and he winks at her, and then she actually smirks a little bit. “Then I think  _you,_  Daken, have to dance for  _Lester._ ”

Mac cackles. Ares grins. Lester says, “Wait,  _what?_ ”

—

Fifteen minutes later, Ares is still in a good mood but not especially uncomfortable, Lester is red-faced, and Karla is handing Daken fifty dollars. “You know,” she says, eyeing Lester’s embarrassed look, “this was more fun than I thought it would be.”

Daken tucks her fifty into his pocket and then—sits right back down in Lester’s lap.

Lester just glares at him and doesn’t say anything.


	6. David Alleyne/Tommy Shepherd/Noh-Varr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eazzy--pink asked:  
> I'm not sure if OT3s count? David, Tommy, and Noh Varr with prompt number 6 "lap dance" please! Your choice on who does what!

Tommy stares up at them, grinning weakly. “Um. What are we doing again?”

David says, “We’re settling a bet.”

"That being…?"

Noh crosses his arms, looking irritated. “That the Kree are superior in all things, whatever ‘expertise’  _he_  claims to possess.”

"Look, all I’m saying is, when you can’t actually make skin-on-skin contact with your boyfriend, you pick up some pretty impressive lap-dance skills. And since  _she’s_  got them,  _I_  have them.  _Plus_ Gambit’s, he actually knows…a  _lot_  about this stuff. Whereas  _you_  didn’t even know what one  _was_  until  _yesterday._ ”

"At which point I  _researched_  them. The Internet is very informative. And now, having gleaned all possible relevant information on them from the Internet,  _I_  am an expert, and clearly capable of executing the superior dance.”

Tommy’s just staring at them, and he  _keeps_ staring until David says, “So you’re judging, right?”

"I—I’m  _what?_  We’re doing  _what_  now you’re doing  _what_  I mean whatwhatwhatwaitnodon’tgoyes _Iamtotallyjudgingthelapdancecontest._ ”

—

The first round is a tie, because Tommy is barely coherent after they’re both finished, declares them both  _perfect,_  and has to stop and have a glass of water.

—

The second round is  _also_  a tie, because David falls over, but Noh-Varr breaks the chair.

—

They’ve found a newer, sturdier chair and are gearing up for the  _third_  round of lap dances, David and Noh-Varr both glaring at each other, when Tommy raises a hand and says, “Ok, new idea. This one’s the  _tiebreaker_  round.”

Noh-Varr says, “Oh?” and David says, “What’s the idea?”

Tommy settles himself  _very_  comfortably and says, a smug smile on his face, “ _Simultaneous_  lap dances.”

"Done."

"Done."

Picking out the music is the trickiest part, because Noh-Varr flatly declares that he  _will not_  dance to Nelly Furtado and David claims Daft Punk isn’t lap dance music at  _all,_  but they finally agree on “Whatever Lola Wants” and get started.

They break the second, sturdier chair, and Tommy declares the contest  _officially_  tied, but by then they’ve all lost most of their clothes and nobody’s listening anymore.


	7. Quentin Quire/Logan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fatallywhimsical asked:  
> Quentin/Logan #19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> having a wet dream and calling the other’s name during it

Logan prowls the halls of the darkened school. If anyone stops him, he’ll say it’s to make sure none of the students are creeping around trying to raid the fridge or smoke or listen to rock music or whatever it is kids do these days, but really it’s just insomnia. And he might as well put his insomnia to good use and  _try_  to act like a responsible educator.  _In loco parentis_  and or whatever.

He waits to go by Quire’s room until last, because if he knows the little pink-haired shit, the kid’s almost  _certainly_  up to something. From what he smells as he nears the room, too, that’s the case—he’s probably talked Idie into sneaking into his room after hours. If she’s there, Logan’s not actually going to make her leave, she and Quentin are both eighteen, but he  _is_  going to throw a condom at them.

Outside the door he pauses to listen, because it smells wrong.  _Is_  Idie in there? Or, shit, it could be Evan, gotta be open-minded.

Or it’s…nobody, and the kid’s asleep, and Logan’s just standing here eavesdropping on a teenager having a wet-dream, like a creep.

He turns to go away— _quickly_ —and hears the kid mumble in his sleep and then say, quite loudly and clearly,  _"Logan!"_

He stops dead. The hairs rise on the back of his neck.

He…isn’t sure he wants to think about what that means.

Ten minutes later he’s in the teacher’s lounge, and there’s a twelve-pack of beer helping him not think about it.


	8. Daken/Bullseye (second)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fatallywhimsical asked:  
> Lester/Daken #16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> having some “private time” and the other accidentally walking in

Daken could smell Lester from a mile away. What he was doing in Daken’s room was a question that would have to be answered at some point, but for the moment he didn’t especially care. A change of clothes was more important.

Shoes next to the bedroom door, and then he went in, hanging his jacket on the hook as he did so. The pants and suspenders, he decided, were a good color; it was really the  _shirt_  that needed changing. Maybe a vest. Perhaps different shoes.

He stood in front of the wardrobe, pondering his choices, and behind him Lester sputtered, “Don’t you  _knock?_ ”

"Not on my own bedroom door, no. I’m not sure that I want to know why you’re masturbating in my bed."

Would it be,  _I can explain?_

No. Stubborn silence.

"Unless you’d like me to join you, that is. I  _do_ have a few minutes to spare.”

More stubborn silence.

"Well? Yes or no?"


	9. Savant/Creote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shaded-mazoku asked:  
> Savant/Creote, 22. Because that's just an adorable mental image and my brain is fried today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trying to play footsie with the other during a meeting

It’s not a boring meeting. It’s very interesting, actually. But Brian is bored anyway. He’s not  _on_  the field team for this mission, he’s just here because he’s…apparently on the team in  _general_  now. Which is a little weird, and he’s having trouble sequencing out how he managed to be both in Oracle’s good graces  _and_  her pay, but he’s not going to argue with it. He did his little techie bit at the beginning of the meeting, passing Helena a flash drive containing a virus that he doesn’t remember programming, and now he’s sitting with his chin on his hands, staring at the wall.

There’s a brush at his ankle.

At first he thinks someone just bumped him by accident, and he ignores it, but then there’s another brush along the top of his foot, and he looks up to see who’s responsible.

Creote is sitting next to him, just around the corner of the table, listening grave-faced as Dinah and Zinda go over an evacuation plan for the mission. Or. He  _looks_  like he’s paying attention to them, but as Brian looks up at him, one of his eyes flickers.

Creote just  _winked_  at him.

Brian realizes, when he feels the third brush, that it’s Creote’s  _foot._

Since when does Creote wink at him? Or tickle his ankles under the table?

Brian almost snaps at him, but then he has an  _astonishing_  realization.

Creote is  _Sasha._  And Sasha  _loves_  him. And he woke up this morning in a bed they  _share,_  with Sasha’s arms around him, and he can’t remember ever feeling safer.

The memory fills him up like a sudden fever, which is an apt metaphor, because he can also feel his cheeks warming. He’s fairly certain that if any of the ladies looks over at him right now, they’ll tease him. He’s blushing like a teenager. Presumably they all know he and Sasha are together? Hopefully. If not, that’ll make things  _very_  awkward.

He toes one of his shoes off and rests his bare foot on top of Sasha’s. Sasha reaches over beneath the table and squeezes his hand.

They’re  _definitely_  acting like teenagers. They are  _ridiculous._  Brian’s surprised that none of the ladies have noticed yet.

Of course, then Barbara catches his eye and winks, smiling warmly, and he has another realization.

 _Oh god. They_ all _already know._


	10. Merlin Baker/Bart Allen (Multiverse)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked:  
> Merlin/Bart 16 please :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> having some “private time” and the other accidentally walking in

"HeyLinTimsaysweallneedtogetuprightnowsowecan—" Bart stops dead. The carpet under his feet actually smokes slightly. "Oh.  _Whoa._  Uh. I. I can leave and come back.”

"Holy  _shit,_  Bart!” Merlin yanks the sheet up, red-faced. “I think I’m supposed to say something suave here where I ask if you want to join me, but I think instead I’m just going to go die of embarrassment.” He pulls the sheet up higher, so it covers his face too. “Please say something nice at my funeral.”

"Can I take a rain check on that? Tim wants everyone to suit up, he’s feeling really gung-ho today, we’re going to go investigate that thing."

Merlin peers over the top of the sheet. “Bart, you can’t really take a rain check on a funeral, they just sort of happen.”

"No, the other thing. Anyway costumes."

"Wait, what other—oh my god, wait, wait,  _what?_ ”

Bart grins at him. “Suit up! I gotta go wake up everyone else!”

He zips out. Merlin stares after him. “Wait,  _what?_ ”


	11. Kate Bishop/America Chavez

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> axonsandsynapses asked:  
> AmeriKate, 10 (because there is not enough AmeriKate in the world.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pinning the other against a wall

Kate rolls her neck and says, “Come on, bubblegum. Hit me.”

America makes a fist, then pauses. “You sure, princess?”

"What, you  _chicken?_ " Kate sticks out her tongue. "Cluck cluck, Missy."

America punches her.

Or, well, she tries. But Kate dodges, blocks, grabs her arm, and puts her in a  _joint lock._  “Wow, that was crude. Who taught you to fight?”

“ _I_  taught me to fight.” America grunts as Kate lets go of her. “Nobody else would after I dropped into this ass-backwards multiverse.”

"What,  _nobody?_ ”

"Pain-in-the-ass kid who smelled like I did? Not a one. Brute force always did right by me, anyway. And I stick with what I’m good at."

Kate stares at her for a moment, brow wrinkling, and then nods. “Then we’ll start with blocks. Not my strongest area, but Sifu Gao always said it was a good place for a beginner.”

"What do you mean,  _beginner?_ ”

They start with blocks. America may not have training, but she has experience; they don’t take long to learn. Kate tries to pace things, talking theory and anatomy as they work, but America keeps getting impatient. She doesn’t do slow, she wants to keep the pace up. Nor does Kate do patience well, so she isn’t a great teacher, and their first lesson ends in an impromptu sparring match, with Kate correcting grips and strikes as they fight. Not quite orthodox, but workable.

Finally America makes a serious misstep, she leaves her left side too open, and Kate takes the opening as a chance to slam her into the wall. America slaps the plaster once, twice, three times. And then they’re done, and America’s leaning againt the wall, with Kate holding her in a “pin” betrayed by the sweat on her skin and the sound of her heaving breaths.

"Don’t you ever get  _winded,_  Missy?”

"Not my style, princess." America grins down at her, and then on a wild whim bends down and buries her face in Kate’s hair. "So. Do we hit the _showers_  now?”

Kate shivers. “That sounds awesome.”


	12. Noh-Varr/Tommy Shepherd and Billy Kaplan/Teddy Altman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from minister-of-silly-walks:
> 
> Nohmmy: being drenched whilst wearing white; having some “private time” and the other accidentally walking in  
> BillyTeddy: moaning the other’s name, being drenched whilst wearing white, pinning the other against a wall

Tommy hates to admit it, but part of him is basically always going to be a twelve-year-old from suburban Jersey. He ogles girls in bikinis at the beach, he likes hot cars, and nothing gets him going quite like a soaked white t-shirt.

Case in point, Kate made Noh-Varr and Teddy wash her little purple sedan. In theory it had something to do with them losing a bet, but in practice it was pretty much just an excuse for her and Billy to lie on matching chaise longues, drinking extravagant drinks with umbrellas in them and whistling like wolves in old cartoons. America had, of course, been sitting next to them, reading a book and occasionally pausing to look up and roll her eyes.

And Tommy and David  _definitely_  weren’t pretending to play checkers to cover up their ogling. Or, well, they weren’t pretending, but the  _only_  reason David kicked his ass so many times is because he’s the one who plays better when he’s distracted.

There’s just  _something_  about soaked white cotton clinging to lean muscles, about watching someone lean over a hood of a car with their tight ass in the air, that makes Tommy’s Jersey-boy heart pound. Which is why he’s given in to his admittedly primal urges and is currently sequestered in his room, giving some…ah…serious thought to whether or not he should chat up Noh-Varr tonight, and what the  _consequences_  might be. He can be a rebound guy, he doesn’t mind.

And—

He has his pants on in two seconds. “ _Shit,_  Noh-Varr, what the  _fuck?”_

Noh-Varr blinks. “I think I’ve come into the wrong room, I was trying to find America. We’re supposed to be sparring.” He pauses and sniffs the air. “I’m sorry, I’ve…interrupted you.”

Tommy huffs, red-faced. If Noh-Varr doesn’t get out of the room  _now,_  he’s either going to come in his pants or have blue balls so bad he’ll  _die._ “You  _better_  be sorry.”

"I apologize for intruding."

They stare at each other. It’s  _horrendously_  awkward.

Then Tommy decides to be an idiot and says, “So, you wanna make out?”

Noh-Varr stares at him and then shrugs. “Sure, all right.”

==

Kate’s car wash. Kate’s  _stupid car wash._  Billy was all for harassing Teddy into doing the sexy car wash thing before he saw it happen, but  _now_  he’s been thinking about sex for three hours and it’s getting hard to focus on things. He would have been able to handle it, but—the white t-shirt. Teddy had to go with the joke all the way and put on a white t-shirt. And white _shorts,_  which Billy is pretty sure should be illegal. It should be illegal to look that incredibly hot.

He flees inside as soon as Kate’s car is mostly clean and he can excuse himself without getting dirty looks from anyone for helping to instigate the whole thing and then bailing.

And of course, Teddy follows him inside.  _Still_  dripping wet.

Billy looks him over, mouth dry, and says, weakly, “White  _shorts?_  You look like some kind of preppy jock asshole. You and your stupid hair.”

Teddy grins at him. “The white shorts make me look like a  _jock?_  Should I give you a swirly? Slam into you in the hallway?” He’s clearly having an unacceptable amount of fun. “I could shove you up against a locker, steal your lunch money.  _Nerd._ ”

Billy can  _feel_  himself turning bright red. “Well that’s. That’s just.”

Teddy raises an eyebrow, and then steps in closer, grabs the front of Billy’s shirt, pushes him back against the wall, and says, in the most sultry tone he can summon,  _"Nerd."_

All Billy can manage as a response is a gasped, “Teddy…”

"Oh my god, you’re actually getting off on this."

"I hate you."

"No, you don’t." Teddy hoists Billy up and slings him over one shoulder before heading for their bedroom, taking the opportunity as he’s heading down the hallway to slap Billy’s ass. "Nerd."


	13. Nick Fury/Amanda Waller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked:  
> OH!! I just had a great idea! Nick/Amanda, but I don't know what number to choose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to do number 14, tying up the other

Nick wakes up, tries to get up, and realizes that he can’t move. He frowns. Assesses the situation.

He’s in his own bed. He’s tied up—expertly, from the feel of the knots. Has he been drugged? …he  _feels_  fine, so  _probably_  not, but the question is, can he remember what happened before he went to  _sleep?_

Oh.

Oh, right.

He looks over, and Amanda is sitting at his desk, idly flipping through his papers. “Morning, sunshine.”

He scowls at her. “I thought you said you weren’t ever a field agent.”

She smiles, not looking up at him. “I wasn’t.”

"Then how did you ever learn to tie knots like this?" They’re a  _bitch_  to undo, that’s for sure. Nick hopes he doesn’t have to dislocate anything to get himself free.

"Girl Scouts." She puts down the paper she’s been reading, picks up another, and scans it. Her eyebrows rise.

"You learned these from  _camping?_ "  _There_  we go. One hand free.

"In Chicago? Hardly." She flips to the next page. "No, when I was thirteen a girl on my block decided to run away from home. Little idiot was fine, managed to get a bus ticket to her aunt in Connecticut, but she didn’t leave any kind of note, so we had a kidnapping scare. One of my scout leaders started teaching us how to get out of ropes and tape. Taught us a  _lot_  of interesting knots in the process.” Now she looks at him, just for a moment, watching with interest as he works himself free. “There  _were_  always rumors about how she’d made a living before she started teaching gym.”

He works his hands free, shakes out his wrists, and then starts undoing his feet. “So did you just get bored?”

"I woke up early."

Feet free. Circulation returning to regular. He grimaces at the sensation of pins and needles, but can’t help but shoot her an admiring glance. “You’re one hell of a woman, Waller.”

She smiles. “I know.”


	14. Scott Summers/Logan (second)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> Scogan 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> having a wet dream and calling the other’s name during it

He’s dreaming about smooth skin, about slim hands, about dark hair, about a hot mouth on him, and it feels better than any dream he’s had in ages. Everything is unclear, as dreams often are, but it’s still good. He feels safe, the dream is quiet and nothing smells of blood or death. Just him, and the other person, and sex.

He looks down, and sees a flash of red looking back up at him, and says, breathlessly,  _"Scott."_

And then Logan sits bolt upright in bed, eyes wide. “What the hell was  _that_  about?”

Across the mansion, Scott also jolts awake. He’s in a cold sweat, but he doesn’t really know why.


	15. Johnny Storm/Daken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buckypls asked:  
> JohnnyDaken (there's never enough, okay!) and 16?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> having some “private time” and the other accidentally walking in
> 
> Man, this is definitely the most popular prompt.

"Whoa,  _whoa—_ ”

"I’m sorry." Daken steps back, eyes flicking from Johnny’s red face to his…occupied…right hand. "I’m interrupting."

Johnny moves his hand hurriedly and yanks his boxers up. “It’s…” Moments ago Johnny was pretty deeply absorbed in a detailed daydream, but now his mouth feels like a desert. “I just…thought I’d locked the door.”

"Not that I’d noticed."

"Did…did you want something?"

Daken’s still  _looking_  at him. It’s a major bro code violation, and Johnny isn’t sure if he’s getting nervous because of the etiquette issue or because he doesn’t want Daken to  _stop_  looking. “Nothing in particular. I just thought some company might be nice. I can go if you like.” Beat. “Or I could stay.”

"Stay." Wait, did he just say that?

Daken glances over his shoulder, and then reaches back and locks the door. “All right.”


	16. Tim Drake/Kon-El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> Tim/Kon #10 & Tommy/Noh #3 please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pinning the other against a wall

Tim’s been picked up a lot in his life. It’s one of the hazards of being a Robin; people tend to pick you up and make off with you, and then Batman shows up and fights them and picks you up again. And it’s also one of the hazards of being a relatively short person surrounded by people who are all  _very_  tall. Sometimes letting them pick you up is the only way to really make eye contact. But even with all this manhandling, there’s something breathtaking about the effortlessness with which Kon can pick him up and throw him around.  _He’s_ the better fighter, but Kon has strength and speed to spare, and he doesn’t tire easily.

There are  _other_  advantages, too. Tim pretends to be business all the time, it’s part of the trained-by-Batman thing, but he’ll admit that he spends a lot of time thinking about Kon picking him up for  _non-_ combat reasons.

Like now. Because Kon has him pinned to the wall (feet a foot off the ground and sort of kicking weakly out of habit), and he’s grinning. “I bet if I kissed you right now you’d freak out.”

Tim says, pleasantly, “Try me.”

Bart zooms through seconds later with a camera in his hands, yelling something about having won a bet.

They don’t notice.


	17. Tommy Shepherd/Noh-Varr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonamouse also asked for Tommy Shepherd/Noh-Varr, #3: stripping off

Noh-Varr peers at him, looking vaguely irritated. “You always change so quickly. Why?”

Tommy shrugs. “It’s easier like that. I don’t like going slow.”

"…I suppose I can understand the sentiment. But I thought humans enjoyed the act of undressing." Said offhand, the way Noh-Varr says most things, but there’s an undercurrent of…interest, or hope, or something like that.

"What, stripping? Some people, yeah. If you’ve got someone to strip for." Tommy pauses. "Wait, are you saying you want me to strip for you? You could just ask."

"I think I’d appreciate it."

"Oh. Ok." Tommy blushes faintly. "Just. Uh. Gimme ten minutes with your record collection, you have to have at least  _one_  album in there I can work with.”


	18. Deadpool/Bullseye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> Deadpool/Bullseye, #12 or #14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> successfully turning the other on

Lester lines up the shot, fires, and grins at the sudden cloud of red in the distance that reminds him that he’s still the best at his job. “My favorite color—whoa. Wade. When’d  _you_  get here?”

"Oh, I’ve been here." Wade flops bonelessly against the roof wall, tilting his head to the side like a curious dog. "Just sitting around. Waiting for you to notice me."

"You were…ok, that’s creepy even for you."

"Well, I—wait,  _even_  for me? Excuse  _you._ ”

"Was there something you  _wanted?_ ”

"Nah, not really. Just felt like hanging out. So few people get my sense of humor."

"I’m  _working._ ”

"And I  _do_  love watching you work.” Wade springs to his feet in another eerily smooth gesture and gets in  _real_  close, because he has  _no_  personal bubble. “So whatcha  _dooooing?_ ”

"What I’m  _always_  doing, asshole. Killing people.”

"Killing people  _is_  pretty fun.”

Lester grins. “Death’s my best girl. If I don’t send her plenty of presents she’ll get cranky.”

Wade freezes. “Wait, what? Repeat that.”

"I said—"

"Wait, no, don’t repeat that." He moves away from Lester, fidgeting with one of his thigh pouches in a way that doesn’t  _quite_ disguise his— _  
_

—sudden hard-on. Lester recoils. “What the _fuck,_  man.”

"Look, it’s complicated, I’ll explain later. Or never. Bye!"


	19. Merlin Baker/Noh-Varr (Multiverse)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> Hey, for the NSFW meme could you do Merlin/Noh #12 and Tim/Kon #1?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> successfully turning the other on

Noh-Varr is sitting in the living room of Stark Tower, absorbed in a Philip K. Dick novel, when Merlin wanders in and drapes himself along the back of the couch. His hair tickles the back of Noh-Varr’s neck. “What are you reading?”

"At the moment,  _Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep._  It’s very engaging. When did you get here?”

"Dr. Richards—Sue, not Reed—stopped by to talk to Mom. Shelly, not Carol. I hitched a ride back with her, she just dropped me off."

"I see." Noh-Varr tilts his head back so he can see Merlin properly. "Did you want to go on a date?"

Merlin’s nose turns pink. “No. I mean, unless  _you_ want to. Mainly I was just lonely. It seems like all my friends live in other dimensions, and I feel safer in this one than in DC. Did…did you  _want_  us to go on a date?”

"…maybe later. Right now I’m enjoying this story."

"Ok."

Noh-Varr goes back to his reading, and Merlin digs his iTab out of his hoodie pocket, unfolds it, and starts playing a game. It’s a speed puzzler, not especially challenging for him, so after a few minutes he draws up his knees to balance the tablet and starts playing with one hand. The other drums restlessly on the top of the couch. A few minutes later, Noh-Varr feels a brush at the back of his head—Merlin’s stopped drumming and gone to tracing an absent pattern on the nape of his neck. The tickle is maddening. He suppresses a twitch at the corner of his mouth and continues reading.

The sounds of the game cease, and then for a moment the tickling does too. And then—the tickling is back, with two hands now, moving out to draw spirals on his shoulders with light fingertips. Merlin’s mouth presses against the back of his neck, and with a mischievous smirk that Noh-Varr can  _feel,_  he begins to  _hum._

Even though Merlin’s humming isn’t especially loud, the vibration of it transmits through Noh-Varr’s entire body, amplified by his enhanced senses. It’s…a  _novel_  sensation.

He twitches.

He shifts.

He puts down his novel, turns around, and lifts Merlin bodily from the back of the couch, hoisting the slimmer boy across his shoulders as he stands up. “We’re going somewhere private.”

Merlin hums agreeably in response.


	20. Tim Drake/Kon-El (second)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday’s meme ask also requested TimKon, #1, grinding up against the other

"I have to admit, this isn’t a terrible plan for them to have come up with." Tim shifts on Kon’s lap, frowning thoughtfully. "Using your strength against you, and so on."

Kon is blushing hotly.  _His_  eyes are fixed downward, at where their abdomens are pressed together, they having been bound together with Tim straddling his lap. The fact that they both have their hands behind them is sort of a blessing in disguise, because it’s keeping him from doing anything embarrassing. “Yeah, I…I guess so.”

"I mean, it’s hardly ideal. But it’s not  _completely_  stupid.” Tim shifts again, more vigorously. He’s doing something with his arms that Kon can’t see. “I wonder how they disabled your TTK.”

"Yeah. It’s. Uh. A real mystery."  _Please don’t notice please don’t notice please don’t notice._

"Anyway, I should be able to get a hand free in a moment, just be patient." Tim moves from side to side, rocking, face intent even as he grinds against Kon’s crotch, apparently inadvertently.

Kon takes a deep breath and tries to will his blush away. “I can wait.”


	21. Tommy Shepherd/Noh-Varr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> confessing a fetish—turned into less “confessing a fetish” and more “confessing romantic/sexual interest,” fair warning  
> flashing the other  
> trying to go down on the other, under the table, during dinner

The first thing Tommy says, when Noh-Varr asks him, is, “Really?”

“I like you.” Noh-Varr isn’t exactly smiling. Like, he has a sort of friendly, interested look on his face, but he’s not smiling. “I would like to know you better.”

“…sexually.”

“Among other things. Why, are you uninterested in men?”

“Nah, I like guys ok. It’s just…me?”

“You’re very attractive, and I think we have a lot in common.”

Tommy looks genuinely puzzled. “No shit?”

Noh-Varr nods.

“Well. Uh.” Tommy frowns nervously and runs a hand through his hair. “Lemme think about it for a couple of days.”

–

The apartment they share with David—that they all share  _very platonically—_ is pretty small, and for the next few days Tommy can feel Noh-Varr watching him almost everywhere he goes. It doesn’t upset him or anything, since he’s doing a fair amount of watching back, and he’ll admit if cornered that he’s spent way too much time thinking about how Noh-Varr just kind of walks out of the bathroom naked and toweling off his hair after a shower because Kree apparently don’t know what bathrobes are. In the past he’s always pretended to be scandalized or horrified or something, but it’s really…there’s a different feeling there.

And then David’s not home for dinner one night.

First, they take the opportunity to order really terrible Chinese food from the place David hates that they both love. They spend half the meal making awkward small talk, or what passes for small talk with them, which is to say Noh-Varr talks about music he’s been listening to and engineering projects and Tommy argues with his awful musical taste and gets offends when Noh talks shit about human technology. It’s a good routine for them, even without David to inject some friendly know-it-all into the conversation, and maybe they sort of start playing footsie under the table while they’re eating. Just a little bit.

Noh-Varr gets a mouthful of noodles and Tommy says to him, “You really wanna do this?”

Noh-Varr blinks and says, around his food, “Oo what?” and  _then_  swallows.

“You want to  _know_  me better. You want us to go steady. You want there to be an ‘us’ thing. Where we go on dates and hold hands in the mall and make out.”

“I’d like to try it.”

“Ok, sure. But fair warning. Long as I’ve got a decent run-up, I don’t really do  _slow._ ”

They talk about it.

The upshot of their talking about it is mostly that Tommy gets a bruise on the top of his head trying to give Noh-Varr a blowjob under the table and they have to adjourn to Noh’s room.


	22. Frank Castle/Matt Murdock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so. When I posted that meme a couple of weeks ago, ladynara sent me an ask which got completely eaten by Tumblr. Good times. So this is significantly late. Anyway she requested Frank/Matt, #1 (grinding up against each other), and being a benevolent Commie, that is what I am now providing. ^_^

They’re trapped. It’s bad.

Frank assesses. His right ankle is probably broken. His left wrist is  _definitely_ fractured. He has a few bruised ribs, probably one or two cracked, and his nose is bleeding.

So business as usual.

It’s more Daredevil he’s concerned about.

Daredevil—Matt,  _whatever—_ is pressed against him in the mineshaft they’re trapped in. It’s only their bodies being wedged together like this that’s holding them up near the light. One of Matt’s hands is a bloody mess. His nose is broken. There’s blood trickling from his mouth—bitten tongue—and from his left ear—which is  _probably_  damage to the eardrum.

It  _better_  not be damage to the eardrum.

If the Mole Man’s damn explosion made Matt go deaf, Frank’s going to turn the little freak inside out.

He scowls. “Fuck. Uh. Look. Matt. You awake?”

Matt groans. “Don’t  _shout._ ”

“…I didn’t. You can hear me fine?”

Matt makes an irritated noise, lifts his (non-messy) hand to his bloody ear, and digs out—a piece of gravel. “Apart from  _that_  thing, yeah. If it’d gone any deeper I would’ve been in trouble. I think I have a concussion. Everything is loud.”

“I doubt there’s any  _think_  about it, choirboy, not with the knock you took.”

“So where are we? My feet aren’t touching anything.”

“Mineshaft. Near the top.”

Matt feels around them, thoughtfully. “Plenty of handholds…not that I’m gripping too well, I have at least three fractures in my right hand. How are your hands and arms?”

“Got a broken wrist. Had worse. I’ll live.”

“Anything above us I should know about?”

“Nothing I can see.”

“And I’m guessing you didn’t climb out because you didn’t want to drop me.”

“Got it in one.”

“ _Fuck,_  my head hurts.” Matt grimaces. “Well, grab the walls, I’m going to see if I can get us unwedged.”

Frank gets a grip, finds spots for his feet, and grunts his preparedness.

Matt  _ripples._

It’s not that it’s easy to forget that he’s an acrobat—it  _is_  his whole thing—it’s more that  _because_  he’s acrobatic, it’s easy to forget how  _big_  he is. His movement presses Frank back against the wall with some force, which isn’t too comfortable. Another ripple, his good hand pulling on the wall, his bad one wrapped weakly around a rock spur.

“Shift left a bit, my leg is trapped.”

Dirt and gravel drop onto them as Matt wiggles slowly out of their bind, and as he frees himself Frank is able to stretch a bit too. They’re both breathing hard, shifting around each other, but somehow Matt still moves with such ease that it’s as if they’re lovers tangled in the bedsheets, not rivals trapped together in mortal danger.

And why  _that’s_  the image that presents itself, Frank has  _no_  idea.  _Some_  guys, yeah, sure. Matt?  _No._

_Maybe._

Now Matt’s higher up—just by a few inches, but it’s enough that they’re no longer chest-to-chest. He’s moved to the side a bit too, following where he can find a foothold, so instead it’s his leg now, his muscular thigh pressed against Frank’s groin, his own pelvis held by the wall to Frank’s stomach.

It’s awkward. Or it would be awkward if they weren’t both focusing on not dying.

In the end, crawling out of the mineshaft involves a  _lot_  of rubbing against each other, and being sensible people, they don’t talk about how their hard breathing is taking on a different character, how the temperature in the mineshaft is rising. Finally they reach the top, and Frank hauls himself out first, then leans back in to pull Matt up and out.

They lie on their backs on the ground, side by side, panting.

Matt says, “It’s warm. Is it still daytime?”

“Not for much longer.”

“Night Nurse?”

“Night Nurse.”

“Then I need a beer.”

“Same.”

“Then we go kick Mole Man’s ass.”

“Solid plan, choirboy.”

“So. Beer. Which one’s closer? Your place or mine?”


End file.
